It's a dog's life

Welcome to Sir Jack’s musings on the world as I see it from a small standpoint that is about 15 to 20 cms off the ground – Oh, you can scoff, but there are a great many philosophers, scientists, savants, inventors and wise people that were helped along their way by us dogs – do we get any credit – the hell we do, and you’ve probably never even heard of half of them:

Brandy D’aVinci – Yes, good old brandy as Leonardo would have slurred as the neck of an open bottle neared his lips – that’s right, he was in a constant state of what is commonly known as “piss-artistry”, luckily, his chocolate brown labrador was able to invent things and push them with his paws into old Lenny’s hands, as he came up for a rare moment of sobriety.

Spot Newton – you don’t think Isaac was under that tree up to any good do you? Having a crafty spliff whilst his carer had her back turned – Spot managed to scrawl some figures down on a discarded spliff skin and Issac made up some story about gravity, based on spot’s drawings and scribbles that we still believe today.

Hugh Washington – Responsible for the emancipation and the subsequent abolition of slavery in the US. Digger had fallen asleep in a slave’s hut, George was frantic with worry after losing his prize Kerry Blue terrier – the slaves came back from the field and cooked up some supper and offered digger a bowl – he loved it! George came to the slave’s hut and asked if he’d seen Hugh, his dog, the slave said that the dog was a stray and that it was his now, to which George Washingtong got in a real huff and tizzy and shouted at the slave – “You Free Hugh!!!) which, overheard by a bystander was interpreted as ” You are Free You” – there that’s how it all happened, thanks to who? Thanks to Hugh!

Digger Picasso - a very talented Skye Terrier, and one which proves the fallacy that us dogs are colour blind – it was him and his short tail that painted Guernica, not old Pablo, who was more interested in betting on horses, Digger would work away while Pablo was betting on a 3 horse yankee at barcelona Hippodrome, he’d drop off into a bodega on the way home – get back worse for wear and colour in some of the lines digger had left blank and then sign them, Digger was very philosphic about all this but he could’ve turned nasty though.

Blackie Curé – Pierre and Marie discovered radium – my foot they did. Who was digging around with heavy metals and highly radioactive elements while they were out at ballroom dancing classes? I’ll tell you, their poor old fluorescent Welsh Collie Blackie – that’s who!

And there are lots more I could tell you about :

Bingo Edison, Rusty Franklin, Tramp Graham Bell, Gypsy Tesla, Bonzo Gates, Jasper Jobs, Rover Marconi, Benjy Farraday and Jessy Babbage, just to name a few!

Modesty obviously prevents me from putting myself on the list but just ponder this for one moment, if it weren’t for Sir Jack, could you imagine the careers of the following:

Frankie Boyle, Russell Howard, Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Michael Macintyre, David Mitchell, Keano Reeves, Harry Hill, Jonny Depp, Jonny Wilkinson, Sir Alex Ferguson, The Eastenders cast, Raymond Blanc and many others …

I just rest my weary and underrated case there shipmates – nuff said, as my famous and ungrateful Eastenders cast might say …